Much to the surprise of maybe my mother and to my high school and college friends, I'm very private these days. I don't like to share drama with the masses. I like easy, lazy, fun things. (think David Cross stand-up or iPhone apps that turn your picture into a unicorn) Not serious, stuffy, sad things. I don't like people looking at me...and large crowds make me very uncomfortable. I also have learned not to dwell in sorrow when sad things happen...as it's crippling and a total waste of energy. And shitty things happen to EVERYONE. Over and over. It's life. I fully believe that everyone has control over only their reaction to life...and that that reaction can be a great barometer to how mentally healthy you are. Stay calm and carry on. I was born in England after all.
But of course we live in this totally cyber world. Although often surface information, it is really mind blowing that i am still "friends" with 1/2 of my 5th grade class on facebook. HALF. I'm 36 years old. That is crazy. My mother went to her 50th class reunion and hadn't seen some of those people for 50 years. I am now able to "see" people who live all over the world....send them a note...anytime i feel the urge. I get to see their lives...their day to day activities, their kids, their spouses. It's something that takes some getting used to (I'm still not switching to timeline on facebook...hurts my eyes and annoys me)...but in lots of ways I really like that connection, from facebook, private blogs, email, etc...as surface as it may be in some ways.
The love Rob and I received in the last month was expected from our family and close friends and we were so thankful for it. They are our foundation. But the love that poured from facebook, email, texts, phone calls, etc, etc, etc from people we hadn't seen in YEARS was astonishing. It made us emotional to know that these people actually still thought of our little family and wanted to know more...and even more humbling...wanted to help. People who have never met Eli. It wasn't expected and it was wonderful. And at the same time i began to get overwhelmed. This incredibly large circle of love wanted to keep knowing updates on Eli...and at the beginning I wasn't able to breathe...let alone talk about it over and over. So, at the suggestion of my mother, I began to write some things down. I didn't get much written in the hospital...as those were dark days...so I may have lost some of that forever...but i tried to remember as much as i could and back fill. The rest is a blog for the rest of this journey. To let those that love us know we are OK...or not...but just to know. That's what this cyber space world we live in is supposed to be about, right? communication on steroids.
I guess there is one other reason that we thought to publish this out to the series of tubes. Life is about perspective, and this has certainly fine tuned that perspective for our family. We'll lose it again..as we all do because we are human...but maybe by writing this "adventure" down we can have reference to remind us how lucky we are. And how life is only about health and love....oh ok...music too. Everything else is just filler.
And maybe someday Eli will look at this picture and read this story and be filled with happiness to know how many people love him.
Love, health and definitely music. Thank you for sharing with us, may writing bring you solace, and this outpouring of love continue to wrap all three of you in healing light.
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